It's Wednesday afternoon, and I'm sitting here in the bright sunshine, at Hey Lucy's in Toronto, (it's cheap martini day) waiting for Stacey P to get her butt here - she's usually about five minutes late, so that gives me some time to collect my thoughts...

How can you write about finishing up your twenties? Your twenties are the foundation for the rest of your life. People say your twenties are the time to live it up, and it really is a time of learning - who you really are, what you really want, and how to be that person you dreamed of being when you "grew up" - but it ain't always easy.

The top 10 thoughts that immediately come to mind when thinking about what I've learned from my post-teen years are:

1- Negativity doesn't do anything but hamper your progress and happiness.

2 - Your mistakes aren't catastrophes, they are lessons and you should learn and grow from them.

3 - This will blow over, and yes I will be able to laugh about it in the future.

4 - I don't need a guy to be happy, I need me to be happy with myself.

5- I can't dine out every night and expect to be able to pay my rent.

6- I can't buy those sexy Christian Labotine's every season, or even the sexy turquoise stilettos from Aldo every time I Google them and expect to pay my rent.

7- Betsy Johnson = debt and no eating McDonald's; which also = death in Jill Clark world...

8- I learned what's important to me in a relationship, and trading looks for laughs lasts longer.

9 - My sister became one of my best friends, and I learned how smart my parents really are.

10- I realized what I wanted out of my friendships, that some friends grow with you over time, and some friends you grow out of, I also realized I don't need to see the friends I do have everyday to know that they love me and support me.

Just as I finished my thoughts, Stacey P struts up proudly showing off a fabulous new brown leather handbag from H&M. (Yes, we are fashionably fierce, but we're savvy shoppers). Sadly with no trust fund, dead rich uncles or winning lotto numbers, we have champagne taste, but we're on a premium beer budget.

I've never been a fan of online dating, or networking, but the one good thing that came out of MySpace was my friendship with this charmingly offensive, humorous, bright shining spirit who'll go the distance for any friend - that is Stacey P!

She sits down obviously flustered and has a million and one things on her mind. But she still manages to look fab in a flowy white sun dress, cute turquoise accessories, and complimented with her fun new python banana heeled pumps!

Stacey P unleashes the fury of the previous hours and goes into detail on her Hat Trick of exes that shes' bumped into during the day. First, whilst working her shift at the pub, she bumps in to her
degenerate ex Pat, who's a now-known drunk and drug addict, and who decides its ok to flaunt his new relationship under her nose, and bring his new meat to her work, after only breaking up weeks ago.

After her shift, she goes to the gym to blow off some steam, and bumps into Blake - a personal trainer who definitely tested her strength and flexibility when it came to dealing with abusive relationships.

Finally after escaping quickly from the two previous reunions, she seeks out retail therapy at the mall, and bumps into Sean, the old flame, the one she measures everyone against, the love of her life she never got over, and he tells her he's getting married in less then a week...

This girl is in obvious need of a Mojo Martini! Time to get the love back, and forget about the ghosts of the past.

"Jill I just don't know what's wrong with me! I don't know why I can't have a normal, functional, relationship! I'm tired of feeling like I have to babysit my boyfriend, tired of learning he's cheated, tired of picking up the pieces, tired of always feeling like I'm on the back burner, and mostly I'm tired of being tired of all the same old crap! I've dated the bad boy, the jock, the charmer who's great on paper, and it doesn't matter it never works!" she vents. "When is it my turn? I'm so happy for all of you guys, but why do I have to be the lone ranger, why can't I find mine? I don't get it? I put out, I'm well-maintained, I'm fiercely independent - the shoes on my feet I bought em', and I have a brain, I can carry a conversation, and I know the difference between The Jays and The Maple Leafs! I think there's something to work with here.... so where's mine? When is my Prince Charming going to get off his high horse and swoop in? 'Cause time's a tickin' and I want to make good use of this body well it still looks half decent naked!"

"Breathe." I tell her. "You're not sick, your single, there's nothing wrong with you." I repeat our fave line from the movie Hitch: "It's called a breakup for a reason, there was a break in your relationship you couldn't duct tape over, so you moved on," I sympathize. "Let's face it, maybe you're just not ready. You've changed your focus on your career, you're in constant battle with the decisions you make and I think you're finally taking the time to focus on you. Once you get some things figured out the rest will follow, and realistically if we were all still single would you want a bf, or do you just want a boyfriend because we all have one?" I say this gingerly, because as much as I love Stace, I know it's a touchy subject, and I really feel like being honest with her, will help her be honest with herself.

Stace agrees that she probably wouldn't be so focused on having a relationship right now, with so much else going on. But also, that seeing everyone happy in a committed relationship has slighted her views. She states that 28 is creeping ever so close, and it'd be nice to have something of substance to come home to, and that being the crazy cat lady, living alone, and being overtaken by plants is her worst fear...

A few more lychee martinis and Cosmos are brought to the table, and we delve into the issues of being a Thirtysomething? Stacey P wonders if she'll be a dirty, flirty, cougaresque 30... and I wonder if serving drinks at a club in Toronto will still be a part of my weekends.

We both agreed that living in the moment is key, but some things you should definitely think about setting up before you leave your twenties, include establishing an RRSP fund, a savings account for a future home, discovering who the person looking back at you in the irror is, and never settling for second best, because you'll always do much better on your own!

Besides 30 is the new 20 anyways! *winks*

*****

Thirsty for a Cosmo and more dishin' by the Twentysomething ladies? Visit twentysomethingtv.com [1] or Jill Clark's profile [2] on Orato.com