The Perv

I squinted up at the sun and saw him standing there with a camera around his neck and a bag of groceries at his side. "Hi," he said with a grin.

My friend and I looked at each other and then back up at the man. "Can I help you?" I asked, watching to make sure his trigger finger didn't pull any fast moves with his shutter bug.

"I didn't realize I needed help," said the man.

"I think you do," I said.

"I think I'll just sit down here and eat my lunch," he said, as he sat down inside our personal space no-go zone.

"Well then, we're leaving," said my friend with a snort and a 'hmph.'

"It's a free park," said the man, peeling his banana and taking a carton of 2% milk from his shopping bag.

My friend and I clothed ourselves in a jiffy and walked to another section of the park, away from the man. From our new vantage point, we could see him munching his banana and feeding pigeon. Before long, he'd attracted two pigeons and a seagull. Then he took off his pants and pulled a pose in his grey Calvin Klein underwear.

"Oh my God, he's taking off his pants and is in his underwear!" I exclaimed. I gasped, my friend gagged and we decided it was high time to leave the park.

"There's a lot of creeps out there," my friend said as we walked toward home.

I walked in silence...the man's words still ringing in my head.

"It's a free park."

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