That Was The Week That Was

The Artist Formerly Known As Cristiano Ronaldo has decided that he isn't really a slave and would actually like to stay at Old Trafford this season because he loves Fergie, the fans, the players, the Glazers (come on, NO-ONE loves them) and all that jazz.

By Citizen Correspondent Sir Stephen

Date Posted: 08/08/08

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It's a tired old cliche, but a week is a long time in football and it has felt a little bit longer for Ramon Calderon. As I cast a rueful eye over the stories making the news and ask: "What on earth will he talk about for the next 10 months?"...

MONDAY

Today's news about two Dutch footballers could have a big impact on The Artist Formerly Known As Cristiano Ronaldo's immediate future. Firstly, we have Wesley Sneijder, who plays for Real Madrid (AKA, The Promised Land FC) and got injured against Arsenal yesterday, potentially ruling him out for six months. Does this mean that they will step up their attempts to sign TAFKACR (ie, actually try to sign him instead of just talking about it non-stop)? Maybe not, because they've just sign Rafael van der Vaart, who is certain to get in the first team there, if only to prevent a repeat of the mayhem he caused on the Dutch bench at Euro 2008.

So, where does his leave TAFKACR? In the short-term, almost certainly it leaves him lying on a beach somewhere, completing his transformation into a piece of mahogony furniture. Beyond that, we'll have to wait and see, as he has said for most of the summer. More clear cut is Kieron Dyer's immediate future, because he's injured again. He broke his leg almost a year ago and is only just getting back to playing, but felt the injury again in training last week, so he's back on the treatment table.

Meanwhile, Fulham are displaying an unusual negotiating policy in their attempts to sign Andrew Johnson from Everton. They initially went in with a £12m bid, which was accepted, but they were looking forward to some good bartering, so went back again with a bid of only £8m.